Step by Step

Which is stronger, my evil desires or God's holy affections? Which is greater, that old man living in me that demands I hate God and His ways, or the Holy Spirit that compels me to think on Jesus and out of love for Him, follow Him. Well c'mon now we both know the answer to those questions, cause there's none stronger and none greater than Christ, so if I choose to not do his will and to please Him than I'm giving the weaker, inferior camp the victory, and that's about as wrong as a three eyed cockatiel.

God has given me all I need to be obedient to His demand that we grow in holiness, and that without exception, but I must do my part I have to kill the deeds of the flesh and pursue holiness at all costs, or it will kill me. This isn't done once and for all or by naming it and claiming it, this is done by diligence, persistence and on a moment to moment basis choosing to obey God and His ways as lined out in His holy word. It ain't easy, but it's essential to pleasing the Lord and growing as we move down the path towards our heavenly home, the New Jerusalem. May God grant us the strength we need in order that we would stand against the wiles of the devil, and the world's morals, and indeed ourselves. Soli Deo Gloria.

Enough

As I wander down this road, this path that God has chosen for me I often rebel and that causes great pain to my God first and then to myself and those around me. There's nothing grand in wishy washiness, nothing at all, it's all about betrayal and forgetting who I am and who I belong to and who I represent here on earth. Over and over for the past fourteen years I've stood firm then fallen, stood firm then fallen. I've had times when I was on fire for the Lord and His mission for my life, then I've had times of deliberate and disgusting acts of sin and rebellion. I've been a wayward goat, wandering around with no direction home, my eyes fixed firmly on the world and myself...no more.

I want to be true to my Savior, I want to stay the path and fulfill the calling He's given me to be an evangelist. I'm sick and tired of bailing on His call on my life, I'm fed up with my double-minded ways and lack of faith. It's time to let God be Lord over my life, it's time for me to surrender and stay surrendered on a minute by minute basis and never let go of my dear Savior's hand. It's time for Jason to die for "He must increase, but I must decrease."


God help me.